Caring for Elderly Mother

My mother, who is 84, lived with us for a month recently after a long hospital stay, and expected to be waited on hand, foot and finger, constantly calling out as soon as she wanted attention, and being upset if I wasn't immediately available.

She is now in hospital again for a minor problem, but we have to consider whether bringing her back here is desirable and sensible. I work hard as a tutor, getting home at 9 at night, my husband also has a full time job and council duties, and our two sons don't want the responsibility.

She has turned away carers in the past, and seems to think that family can cater for all her needs.
I have to see a chiropractor tomorrow because I have back pain as a result of helping my mother to dress etc.

I haven't been able to swim for weeks because of this situation, and that time is very important to me. I love my mother but I need someone to listen to me.

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I Understand How you Feel
by: Ed Pierson

I keep my mother as well, she is 83 years old. She had both bad Dementia and is a diabetic.

You can immagine that everyday, I have to administer a shot of insulin to her. She will never do it, due to her dementia.

Like you, I wait on her hand and foot. I wash all her clothes, cook all her meals, Deal with all her finances and pick up her medicines and get her to bed each and everyday. This does not include dealing with my own life.

It can be maddening. Its hard to see friends, its hard to get out. I've lost the ability to have a good time even when i do get out. I have two sisters that live locally, but I never see them much.

One will do nothing and the other will help just here and there, but its not enough. Its sad when you have family that will not be there when you get overwhlemed with caring for your mother.

The constant questioning over and over again and the practice of bad habits is insane to live with. Ive been at this now for 7=1/2 years now. the stress level is unbelievable. I could scream.

I can't date a girl and there is hardly any social life. I wallow in this almost 24/7. Like you i need to vent and talk about it as well. Yes, I understand how you feel. In all of this. I love my mother very much.

I know that when she is gone that I would welcome all of this once again, just to have her near. Its just a shame that family can't be family these days. there is no love anymore.

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