Caring for an Aging Narcissistic Mother
(Port Moody, BC Canada)
I resent her. I resent my brother who NEVER helps. He actually said to me once, when I brought up the issue, "you guys seem so happy"....as if we are an old married couple.
I've been taking care of my Mom for the past 10 years. She has severe macular degeneration. She can't do much on her own. She has also become hard of hearing. She won't make any decisions...defers entirely to me.
Sometimes I just lose it and yell. She has never really shown much love towards her children. She is a classic narcissist and as life goes on, she loses more and more of her audience...(read friends are dying).
She hates it when I disagree with her. She threatens to hit me. She only perceives and hears what she wants to and if the conversation isn't about her she finds a way to make it about her. We argue about everything including my children. The only way to keep the peace is if I agree with her.
I am pretty good about taking care of myself. I sleep well, go swimming everyday and play hooky (read...take vacation days from work without telling her and then do what I want). This is all classic stuff.
I realize that life is not fair and many, many of us find ourselves in this situation, but you asked and so I felt comfortable venting here. Thanks!
Would love to hear back from others. My friends are great, but they don't want to hear me moan about something with which they have no familiarity.
Again, many thanks and all the best to all of you who share this journey.