Caring for a Young Family and Grandparents Alone.


(Canada)

I am 31, have two very active boys, a husband and 2 grandparents that I have been caring for a couple of years now. My grandparents got into a serious car accident 4 months ago that changed all of our lives. We needed to move them into a retirement home rather than the independent seniors residence that they were living in, so that their medical care needs could be met and they could still have a good quality of life.


I am overwhelmed. In the last four months I have dealt (along with my husband) with insurance, lawyers, doctors, O/T's, Physiotherapist, home care workers and family that has no issue stirring the pot but makes no effort at all to help. Rather they say their lives are too difficult to deal with my grandparents. That's both of their daughters and their oldest grandson. One of their daughters doesn't even have any contact with them at all. So its been left in my lap.

I have had to give up my employment that paid our groceries and take my grandparents on full time to deal with their needs that also involves a brain tumor in my grandmother. Criticism is high and respect is low. I have anxiety attacks on a regular basis, my children are suffering because I have no energy to be with them at the end of the day and am short tempered when dealing with them because all my patience has been used up. Frustration is an understatement. I wish for a normal life once again and yet know that it is a dream rather than a reality.

I do their laundry, clean their place, arrange and take them to their appointments, deal with all professionals involved in their care and much more. I feel that life has become a burden rather than a joy. Friends are no longer an option for myself since I have no time anymore for them. What other options are there though? Who ever thought life could get so hard?

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The price you are paying
by: anonymous

If you are doing all this for your grandparents while their own daughter doesn't do jack shit, then I hope you are at least a beneficiary in their will. If not, then you're being suckered.

Don't allow it to happen.

One of my aunts looked after her wealthy grandmother's needs for TWELVE years, while her two prima donna daughters never bothered themselves with their own mother's affairs.

My aunt lived in California at the time, and oversaw all aspects of her grandmother's time in an assisted living facility, while one daughter lived in the same state and the other in Nevada.

When her grandmother died, my aunt ended up effectively getting stiffed in the will, while the two daughters inherited $700,000 each. Maybe your situation is different, but you should think of yourself too, and not be so willing to put your neck out while others go into hiding.

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