Caregiving "borrowing" Items without Permission, Mom on Her Side

by Scapegoat1
(USA)

My mother is typical, predictable, disgusting and ugly. Some items were taken from my room, my family didn't do it. I asked them and I believe them when they say it wasn't them.


So that leaves the caregivers. Long story short, I left a note for the caregivers asking them to respect my privacy. Bad move.

Of course it was shown to my mother. I was trying to keep her out of the loop. Why? Because she wouldn't side with me. Sure enough, now that she knows I left a note asking the caregivers to respect my privacy and not enter my room, she was all ready to dig into me with her rage.

Thankfully my brother intervened and explained to her the reality of the situation. Eventually she said she would talk to the caregivers herself.

Good for you, I wanted to say. Let me know when you're done suspecting ME of making stuff up just for fun. She is such a piece of work. One aspect is her unfailing ability to treat strangers so much better than family, or at least, this daughter. I guess I cannot say "family".

But me for sure. She's always sided with others, and there have been so many others. Anyways, I know we all have so much pain going on, so I won't write too much.

I care about everyone on this site. I think we have to care for ourselves first and foremost. I'm really trying to do that myself.

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Thank you
by: Scapegoat1

Thank you, Anonymous, for your comments. I feel less alone. I am working on getting a lock for my door.

The caregiver denied going into my room, and my mother believes her. I guess she believes a ghost took the item from my room, since it's nobody in the family and not the caregiver.

Interesting. I agree I need to take care of myself first. Thanks again for understanding.

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Acceptance
by: Anonymous

Sorry you are going through this. I have similar situation at home as I am the 61 year old caregiver for my 86 year old mother. We have good days and bad days and I cannot always trust her.

I solved this problem by putting a lock on my door - problem solved, I thought.... now my mother complains that she does not want me locking my door because it is "her house!"

I have come to realize there is nothing I can do to please my mother - I have to accept this fact and take care of myself. Some elderly are just emotionally unstable.

Once I came to realize and accept this reality - I - I repeat - I am doing much better. The lock remains on my door, my mother is learning to accept this. God bless out mothers...

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