Caregiver to ill, Elderly Mother
Over the past 3 years mother has become increasingly demanding in that she is now living in our house on a full time basis. She is constantly falling, incontinent and requiring supervision 24/7. She is diabetic, has lung cancer in both lungs, has peripheral vascular disease and now cardiac problems.
She gets up in the middle of night and wets on the floor, although she insists she doesn't require adult diapers, turns lights on and moves dishes around. She is unable to do her own medications, even when blister packed and needs supervision to ensure she takes all her pills, to have her insulin injected, blood sugars checked, inhalers given and constantly check to make sure her oxygen is on, which she likes to remove.
I have home care in for 20 hours a week (2 1/2 days). Currently mother is in hospital after suffering two heart attacks and she is determined to return here. We live in a relatively isolated, rural location and I am just plain tired of providing nursing care.
I have no sisters or brothers to spell me off and it is taking a toll on my husband and myself. I find I am short tempered with her and then feel guilty about that but when I find her feeding her food to the dog or putting it in the garbage I find it annoying as she will then later say she hungry. She also goes through all our drawers and will go through our personal papers as if they are her own.
In the hospital she is telephoning me every 2 hours and demanding that I visit everyday (its 35 minutes each way, and making me feel guilty when I do not come (only one day because of snow) - guess I'm just overwhelmed by it all.
How do I manage this and should I insist she go into an extended care facility, how do you do place a parent who does not want to go to a facility without feeling overwhelming guilt?