Caregiver Stress - Never Going on A Vacation: Money Worries

by Fran Lewis
(Bronx, New York)

Up until I was able to get the medical services for my mom, my sister and I paid thousands of dollars out of pocket in order to keep her out of nursing facility and at home. The cost was great and I no longer have the money that I was saving for when I retired.

I was never a spend thrift, but due to the exuberant expenses that we incurred not only did I retire early due to her illness, but I used up my savings and now I have to pay the credit card companies that I used to pay the weekly 1500 dollars for her night care.

Money worries stress me out because although she has medicaid services it does not cover all of her food, medical supplies and more that I have to pay in order to keep her well fed and clean.

Added to this I have not been anywhere for 6 years. The aides are great but they are not allowed to give her the meds she needs twice a day enough though I crush the pills and put them in yogurt or apple sauce. VNS will not cut me any slack and it really gets hard when I need a break.

For the holidays I will have to pay someone to give my mom her meds so I can go to my brother's for Thanksgiving. It really gets to you. My sister and my mother have let it all to me and they will not give up their vacation time or any other free time to come and handle my mom and her issues. My brother works and has three sons who need his time and attention. My mom has Alzheimer's but often asks for him and my sister.

This gets me down at times and in order to cheer myself up I read and review books for authors around the world when they request my services. I do not get paid to do that. I did write a book about my mom's voyage with this illness and a resource for those who want to get help and care for a friend or loved one. I write children's books and short stories.

What I really need is a weekend away without any phone calls. Fran