Caregiver Stress - A Hamster on the Wheel...
I am an activities director at an assisted living, plus I have had to recently move in with my 85 (almost 86 year) old stroke victim mother.
After my job at the assisted living, I go "home" and care for her, in order to give my friend a break... it's off the wheel for her, and on it for me... I work 8 to five with the elderly, who are in various stages of decline... we have anything here from active seniors, to those with one foot on a banana peel and the other on the door of the Nursing Home... we are an Assisted Living, which means nothing really.
It's a short stop-over for extended care in a locked "Dementia" unit, or a nursing home. SO I am burned out before I get to my mother's house.
I have no siblings, and my two children are busy with careers, and college etc. I have been divorced for many years... so there's no husband to rely on. I also take over at my mother's on the weekends, so my friend can have a break...
I am the only one NOT having a break! My job at the Assisted Living is my BREAK!! My own health is less than stellar, and I had a near fatal accident last year that was probably due
in part due to my constant worry over my mother's condition. She refuses to even entertain the idea of long term care...and wants to die at home etc. Having home health helps, but they are not with her but a few hours a day... My friend who is the 8 to 5 care giver and late night shift person, is now dating, and goes out every evening... leaving me the late night duties with my mother, as well... I'm sinking, quickly.
Actually I'm plotting my great escape. I'm to the point of abandoning all contact with my mother, and my children; and "vanishing". I have step one and step two formulated... but I know I probably would not be able to live with myself if I enacted my plans to leave. However, I would at least LIVE... My mother has run through her savings paying care givers... can I leave without regret?