Caregiver for Mother Yet ill Myself with no Help or Understanding from Brother

by Kim
(Flint, MI USA)

I live with my mother and have most of my life. A lot of this is to due with me often having health issues in my life. However, roles have somewhat reversed now and I don't know what to do.


Although no definitive diagnosis has been made for dementia, I have been told by 2 different doctors that she is in the starting stages of it.

However, in my opinion she is fading fast.My issue is my mother is very stubborn and isn't willing to see she isn't 70 anymore and can't/shouldn't be doing the things she does. She is 83 with internal bleeding issues that is ongoing, severe heart issues among other issues.

She has often been controlling, but now even more so. She has no boundary control as she will enter my bedroom or bathroom without asking. I am her primary driver, caregiver at home and am not well. I know at times she doesn't remember that I am ill. But everything I am doing for her is keeping me from getting well. I have had 4 brain surgeries and also have condition called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. so when I take her somewhere I can get really sick.

I have also been diagnosed with strep and pneumonia. However, when she wants to go it doesn't matter when I tell her I can't or I'm sick. I am also having to handle all phone calls house issues and help pay bills. my brother screams at me when I call to tell him she's in the hospital and when I don't call him and he finds out later he yells at me. He has told me I am going to kill her before her time.

He only lives 1 hour 20 minutes but doesn't help let alone call her. I need any suggestions I can get. Also does anyone know of an open online support group for caregivers as I don't leave home much. I am at my wits end and about to go off deep end. Thank you everyone.

One other issue. No thank you for help. I am helping pay all bills on house on her care giving, etc. and my brother is entitled to half this house when she dies. Am I just complaining or should he be helping. I wouldn't complain if he gave some of his time to help. I really am desperate.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Caregiver Stress.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. it has been a long road

    Jun 11, 20 09:42 AM

    My 92 year old Dad has been living in my house for 15 months now. He has been on hospice care for 10 months. My wife and I are amazed that he keeps on

    Read More

  2. It just gets a little harder, every day

    Jun 01, 20 09:46 AM

    Been taking care of parent more and more for 4 years, with absolutely no help/support from out of state siblings. One of them, saying anything about my

    Read More

  3. Visitation

    May 06, 20 04:21 PM

    My mom is 98 years old. She started going down about 2 years ago. Her living situation at her house (stairs, no bathroom downstairs, unable to fix her

    Read More