Caregiver for Father and Step-mother. Dealing with Stepkids
Dad remarried after mother's death to woman whose children demanded pre-nuptual agreement to protect their inheritance. Dad pretty much abandoned us kids for his step-family to keep peace with step-children. They have been married 20 years.
Dad took care of step mom through years of depression and mental illness. Now that dad is 83 with physical downturn and some dementia, step kids want us to step in and help care for them. I have never been in such a situation in my life and am drowning in stress.
I am oldest sibling with a sister who refuses to help and brother who lives 350 miles away and doesn't want to help either. I feel obligated to help my dad and want to, but step-sister is making my life a living hell. There are several children and extended family on the stepmother's side, but only me on dad's side.
That's the way the step-kids want it (separate)- duties, finances, care, medications...everything. They want it Smith side versus Jones side. Impossible! I think they are working on putting Dad in nursing home so they can move step mom in with step-sister. Dad and Step mom want to stay in home together. Step kids don't want me there and treat me like an outsider because the house is their inheritance.
Dad wants me there and makes me feel guilty because I had to hire caregivers after 10 months of working full time days and staying with him every-other night, weekends, holidays. I'm a 63 year-old widow in poor health myself. The step kids are younger by 10 to 15 years, but expect me to handle the care giving on the Smith side by myself when they have 5 or 6 people to share the duties and they will not share in the finances because of the prenup.
Dad has no money or possessions left. Step kids stick like glue against me on everything. They are hateful, rude, and deceitful. I can't trust them with my dad and think they are being mean to him behind my back. Help! I'm going under mentally, physically and emotionally. I feel like a red-headed stepchild on South fork, with a stepsister like J.R. Ewing.