Caregiver Advice Wanted

I am looking for advice on how much independence to take away from an elderly parent. My mom is 92 years old. She has lived with me for 10 years in an attached apartment in our home.

We have taken every precaution in her home that was recommended by an in home physical therapist such as removing all barriers, throw rugs, trip hazards, etc.

My mom walks with a rollator (wheeled walker with a seat) that she hangs onto for balance. Recently she fell while trying to stand from a chair. She leaned over too far and just kept going and face planted. (Other than some carpet burn marks and some bruising there are no broken bones or other injuries) I wanted to look into getting a lift recliner for her.

My sister insists that she is a big fall risk now and that I have to physically assist my mom getting up from any chair and physically walk her to and from where ever she wants to go.

This means my mom is now instructed to ring a bell to call for assistance before being allowed to go to the bathroom or go literally anywhere in her home. My mom is absolutely miserable.

She practically begs me everyday to please let her just move around on her own without bothering anyone for assistance. We keep telling her it's no bother, but she feels depressed and a burden.

This is my mom's one and only fall this year. However she did fall a couple of times last year....all attributed to things like a stool that shot out from under her, or missing the hand rail trying to get up her porch step (she broke her shoulder with that fall).

I'm torn. I don't want her to fall again and risk a serious injury, but what about her quality of life? It is so depressing to her just sitting and watching tv and relying on someone else for her every movement. Does anyone have any advice?

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siblings that give advice but no help are worthless
by: Anonymous

You're doing the best you can for your mom. I would suggest getting rid of the rollator and giving her a regular walker so it doesn't scoot away from her.

That way it will be there for her and she can use it to get up and down easier. Just my thoughts from using one myself and having an 88-Y-O mom as well. Good luck to you.

by: Anonymous

That is a pet peeve of mine when siblings tell others what to do, think they know what is best for everyone but are not willing to take on some responsibility themselves.

Politely ask your sibling to let mom stay with her so you can have a break. You cannot do this 24/7 with no support

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