Cared for a Difficult Elderly Disabled Father

by Richard

My father became disabled 11 years ago at age 69. In the last 11 years me and mother have looked after him with no respite breaks and in poverty on benefits. My father who is now aged 79 wouldn't go to respite and wanted a hot meal every night even when both us were ill.


Me and mum have suffered with depression, arthritis etc. We have had no support from fathers large family or from social services. My father became ill again with chest infections in December 2016 and has been hospital three times in the last 7 weeks due to hospital sending home too early.

We didn't visit him this time round as we needed a break and we have little money as I am unemployed again since August 2016 and I am recovering from severe depression. Then on last Friday my fathers siblings visited him in hospital and they haven't seen him for the last 10 years.

One of my father's sisters had a go at my mother for why we not visiting him very day and that we have neglected him. Then Yesterday my father rings from his hospital bed and tells my mum after 46 years of marriage that its over and he hates her and that he won't be coming home.

My father says social services are going to provide him house and carers 24/7 and that his siblings will now visit him regularly. My mother is devastated as she was forced to look after my father with no support from his family or social services. Me and my mother are at breaking point.

It looks we may be evicted from our council social housing rented flat as social services won't help us. I was suicidal at Christmas and I am still trying to get help but its very slow. Then this happens.

I feel my father never loved me and that he has done this to hurt us when we are at our lowest. Social services forced us to look after him we no support and with very little money. I hate my father for doing this to my mum.

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