Care Giving for Elderly Parents You were Never Close With

by Peace Out
(Orlando , Florida, USA)

I was never close to my parents. I come from an alcoholic home and got involved in a very toxic relationship in a subconscious effort, at a young age, to get out of my home.

Now I'm strong in my life, centered and focused but guess what happened? I ended up being the only daughter--and that's mostly who plays the care giving role in our society--that lives in closest proximity to my dysfunctional parents and so now I'm being expected to be a primary caregiver when my home has always been a place that I cannot stay for more than 48 hours.

I am getting physically, mentally and spiritually drained and sick. I'm very sympathetic towards my Mom's illness and condition and I do love her but how does one cope with such a situation--caring for parents that were toxic and you never really had any type of positive relationship with? How do you balance the sacrifice you must now make with that?

They basically have never showed me any real caring and even when I needed them most in my life at times they were not there. I say at times because there were things they did for my children that I'm not ungrateful for, but even with that there was a time when I realized that I needed to protect my children from their toxicity.

I am extremely stressed and was wondering if anyone out there has ever encountered such a situation and may have some advice.

PS. especially when I'm in the middle of major things happening in my life. I even had to put off renting my home to move elsewhere--which is a good additional income; as well, I'm suppose to be traveling for my artistic career and cannot leave right now etc.