Care Giver Daughter of Elderly 94 Year Old Dad

He won't listen to anything I say, talks to me bad treats my husband great...if I tell him something he does the opposite...I only tell him things about cleanliness or things not to get himself hurt...he won't listen... this is getting so old quick..he is very rude and laughs...


He plays games pitting me against my husband I know he is old but he is very aware of what he is doing... he has made jokes about cutting my throat and has hid a knife so of course this causes me concern...

I thought I could do this now I know I just cant...He lived with his bother for 18 months his bother wanted him to leave for the same reasons...my sister and brother have not helped in the last six years at all...he won't wear depends and continues to leak on things ...

This cant keep happening..he won't help the people helping him at all...I think I am going crazy at times I stayed locked in my room ..you can't leave the house anymore...I have security alarms on my doors...its like a prison...

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Same situation here
by: Anonymous

We are in the same situation, except it's my husband's grandfather, and I think he's also an alcoholic and sociopath.

Everyone who's not related to him just loves him and thinks he's so wonderful, but they don't see his selfish, demanding, belittling, narcissistic, controlling, and uncompromising side.

He is very good at charming people who are not related to him. But he has created a situation that makes him completely dependent on us.

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Hopeful
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for the pain your going through! I take care of my mom & dad. It's so hard. The only thing different is my dad would never say or have a knife to threaten me. I don't know how you deal with that!

I would tell your siblings you are going to do what you have to do and they better help you! I have the same problem with my siblings.! It drives me crazy! I've taken care of mine since 2009.

I'm wore out!

But I can't bring myself to put them in a home. My daughter at 19 yrs. old was killed in a car accident . It's been so hard. My mom hasn't drove since then. I have to do it all! It's just that I love them so. Has your dad ever been in any kind of military during war time? Let me know. I'm praying for you!!!

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Self absorbed Dad
by: Anonymous

Look up narcissism online and see if this pertains to your Dad. If it does there in no winning with him. He is out to hurt his own daughter.

See if you can set up people to come in and help him. If his income is low enough he might get free assistance. If not, it would be worth you paying yourself to have peace of mind and stay away from him.

He will probably say he would rather you did thus and so, but don't cave in if you are dealing with someone very self absorbed.

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