Care for our Parents with no Sibling help

by Larry
(Terre Haute, IN USA)

Seven years ago a doctors office prescribed my mother wrong medication while telling her her medicines would change as they would become generic. They would fill their medicines for long term as they traveled. My mother had a tendency to have low blood pressure and they prescribed her a high blood pressure pill with a high water pill.

Four months later when they returned she couldn't walk and her body functions were shutting down. We were close to funeral when we figured it out. My father is old fashioned and refused to sue the doctor.

According to the neurologist this caused so many strokes in one area of her brain he couldn't count them all. She has the same symptoms as sever dementia. She takes full time care. She's incontinent. My father has macular and can't hardly see.

A year ago he fell and split the whole top of his head, broke his elbow, and fractured his back. At the same time my mother-in-law fell and broke her shoulder and in the course of this her mind started going as she is 93.

We moved my mother-in-law in our house, she can't be left alone. I'm at my parents keeping mom cleaned up, cooking, laundry, cleaning, mowing, maintenance, plus all the doctor appointments. Our siblings lives are just perfect as they flat refuse to help.

They won't even stop and visit unless they want something. I'm furious!! My wife an I have refrained from saying anything, but on day things are going to blow up.

I wanted to work longer to have a higher SSA, but finally had to retire. A lot of people have no idea what this is like and how hard it is. One is hard but three is really hard. We promised them we would do everything possible to keep them at home and not in a nursing home.

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Save Yourselves--I'm Serious
by: Anonymous

"We promised them we would do everything possible to keep them at home and not in a nursing home."

I made that same promise to my mother. A friend advised not to because I had no idea how bad things might get in the future. She was right and I had to give up. For the last six months of her life, my mother was in a memory care facility.

Larry, now I will tell you the same thing. This is an impossible promise to keep. Impossible. You and your wife will sacrifice the remainder of your own good years and for no real benefit.

It's not as if these elderly people will recover. And there's no advantage in keeping your siblings free from obligation. Please, save yourselves.

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