Can't help Feeling Resentment

by Joy
(Austin, Texas, U.S.)

My mom moved in with me after my father passed 10 years ago. I am a divorced parent with one son (divorced before mom moved in).

I have always been independent and able to take care of myself and my son. My mom has and continues to work and contributes toward the home but not 50/50 due to her medical condition which takes a lot of her income. The past few years I realized the resentment that has been building.

As my son has gotten older and more independent, I would love to expand my social life including finding a partner. My mother can be very judgmental and negative. I have avoided pursuing romantic relationships so that I can avoid her judgmental input and countless questioning. I am very private and with her living with me, I just don't have the privacy I so desire.

The resentment has built and I find myself becoming miserable at times. I love my mother very much and I know she wants me to be happy. I just can't deal with her judgement which seems like a sort of control. I am also aware that there may be some fear on her part that if I do establish a relationship with someone, where does that leave her?

I would never, ever displace my mother for anyone, but the household dynamics would certainly change if I did find a partner/husband. I know communication is key and that I really need to express myself to my mother. I just don't want her to assume the worst and feel threatened.

Comments for Can't help Feeling Resentment

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

I've Been There...Sort of...
by: JoAnn

I understand your situation. Mine was similar except that it was ME and my daughter, who I have since lost, who had to move in with her. My Dad passed many years ago & she was still in the 4bedroom house, but alone.

I had to do the same thing...pick a good time to sit & explain my situation to her. And assure her that it didn't mean that I was abandoning her or expecting anything more from her. It's a matter of "feelings" and leaving it all up-in-the-air will just create more issues for you.

Now my Mom is in Assisted Living & I'm left with all of the responsibility including her house. We never had a great relationship but I had to suck it up and take charge...for both of us...Good Luck to you!..Glad you found this safe place...

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Feel Older Than I Look.........

    Apr 27, 17 01:24 PM

    I reached under his car and disconnected the distributor cap. He is 90, has had a stroke and has seriously failing eyesight (macular degeneration & cataracts)-

    Read More

  2. Burnt to Ashes

    Apr 22, 17 12:28 PM

    I am having a really bad night. Whats new! Whilst my dear non loving narcissistic mother sits stuffing her fat face in ignorance of my foreboding day ahead,

    Read More

  3. Who Is Really the Clueless Sibling?

    Apr 22, 17 12:23 PM

    If the youngest child of the immediate family needed the constant, daily attention of the mother and father for the last 30 years, while the other two

    Read More