Burnt to Ashes
I am having a really bad night. Whats new! Whilst my dear non loving narcissistic mother sits stuffing her fat face in ignorance of my foreboding day ahead, tomorrow my partner of 35 years is going to hospital to have skin cancers cut out and skin grafts, my partner and I have a business to run also animals to look after but where am I! 24-7 looking after my mother.
I tried to find some where that she could stay for respite, a short period of 3 days, but oh NO didn't suit her, she didn't like the carers nor the place. So tonight I think of how I'm going to organize my self to take my partner to hospital look after the animals, the business and also be at my mothers place looking after her.
Well,do you remember the movie Mrs.Doubt Fire that reminds me so much of this "F'd" up life I'm living. So tomorrow I will get up early shower feed, walk and hopefully wear out selfish mother then put her in the chair for a nanny nap, get dressed drive 13ks pick up my partner drive another 20ks take him to hospital pick up and feed the animals drive back to Mum's another 17k's feed her change her nappy,give her dinner, put her to bed get dressed in warm clothes, go back to the hospital pick my partner up about 9.30pm drive him back to his place another 20k's hope he will be okay then abandon him, leave him alone and probably in pain, then drive back another 13ks to selfish old mother to be her night guard.
Am I burnt to ashes Yes,well let me tell you about my day today I woke at 4.30 got up went out to get food for the animals + 13k's to my partners cut his hair really short for this operation then 13k's back returned made breakfast then showered, the old girl. Then at 9.00am started working, the entire day mowing and maintaining her property mowing whipper snipping, walking her and feeding her.
It is now 11pm I am too tired and stressed to sleep but I will go to bed and hope tomorrow goes to plan.
If anyone had ever told me how hard looking after a selfish parent could become I would of never believed it but unless you find yourself in this position you'd never know or understand how hard it can become,so please lets all hold together and give each other some hope.God bless you all .