Burnt out Caregiver of Elderly Parents
by Maryanne
(Glen burnie, MD)
I am a 43 year old well educated single woman who has been a "caregiver" for elderly parents.
Three years ago, my mother had a heart attack. I have spent the last three years helping my mom recover from her heart attack. Taking her to cardiovascular rehabilitation at her local hospital. My father doesn't want to do it. He never wants to take care of my mom.
My career has suffered due to the recession and because my mom's needs are paramount over mine. I haven't had a full time job since late 2007-early 2008. None want to hire me because I am considered a dinosaur and I have elderly parents. My brother who works constantly doesn't want to be involved. He blames my parents for letting their health go. He is right but he needs to pick up the slack from me.
I am in danger of being homeless and my father says that I cannot move back unless he decides to leave the house to me. My mom has recently been diagnosed with Lumbar stenosis due to her diabetes. She can no longer walk with ease. I always have to go down the basement to do everyone's laundry. My brother doesn't seem to help. He believes that it is the daughters duty to help.
My career, social life and my well being has been suffering. I was seeing this man for the past 4 years, and he had decided six months ago that he can no longer be with me because of my mom's health concerns are taking too much of our time together. I am not much on looks and I am not getting any younger so, therefore I am not going to ever have a romantic relationship ever again.
My friends do every call me anymore. I can't blame them for that. My father doesn't like when I have to do job hunting things and have time for myself. He is very belligerent. I told him that he needs to get a brain scan because he exhibits some characteristics of an Alzheimer or dementia patient. I am feeling like I am stretch beyond my capabilities.