My 79 year old mother has been a widow for 5 years. My parents did not have a happy marriage and both of them controlled their young children through force, intimidation and manipulation.
My wife is a kind soul and offered to have my mother live with us so she is not alone in her elder years. Unfortunately, she continues to make nasty insinuations and comments about everyone around her (including my wife) and tries to control and manipulate everyone around her.
My wife ignores it but I just don't want to deal with her crap any more. I had to as a child until I left home. We thought old age would have mellowed her, but she thrives on drama.
She is a cancer survivor and has Macular Degeneration and is constantly playing the martyr card. In fact our friends call her a professional martyr. I love her but I don't like her.
My wife and I need a life of our own without constantly having to take care of someone whose sole purpose in life seems to be to cause misery to others. Being a caregiver sucks.