I have been my mother's companion, chauffeur, financial adviser, etc. for the past 8 years because I live 28 miles from her and my 2 sisters live in other states part of the year.
For the past 5 months my mother has been in and out of hospitals and nursing homes because of falls and minor broken bones which have fully healed and C'Diff which she contracted while hospitalized. She didn't seem ready for full-time nursing home care so we moved her back to her home where one sister and I took turns caring for her. She is incontinent and her bed was soiled daily as well as her clothing and sometimes the carpet and bathroom fixtures.
We could no longer continue the same thing each day and contacted an assisted living facility which evaluated my mother and determined she could live in their facility with incontinence care, dressing, bathing and medicine assistance. Today I visited and while visiting mom said she had gas and apologized at the odor. Then asked to be taken to the bathroom because she had to finish. She had a huge bowel movement and soiled her clothing right through the Depends and I had to immediately strip her down and put her in the shower. I thought my days of cleaning this up were over since moving her to assisted living. Now I'm thinking she will not last in assisted living and will have to go to a nursing home. I don't have anymore to give mentally, emotionally, physically or financially. To top things off, my sister emailed me to find out where she could find my mother on her birthday Sept 30. She doesn't want to visit one facility only to find she has moved somewhere else. It is so easy to drop in and visit for an hour or so and then be off for months.
I live nearby and am expected to be there for my mom. I don't know what is best for my mom or myself. I know I am depressed. Any suggestions?