Built Her A Granny Flat, Now We Want Her OUT!
by Unappreciated DIL
In 2009, my husband and I went to a great deal of expense to add a secondary dwelling unit to our home. The idea was that his mother, now 83, could live out the rest of her days there rent and worry-free.
She has her own address, a nice little yard, a balcony, a full kitchen and even a jetted walk-in tub in the bathroom. At 650 s/f it's perfect for an older person. We are walking distance to a safe downtown shopping and dining area as well as the beach, public transit, etc.
To say this idea has backfired is the understatement of the century. Instead of being happy and grateful, she has become bitter, angry and isolated. She's put on a lot of weight. The situation just worsened when she had to give up driving due to macular degeneration which she lied about having until she was too blind to get away with it.
She's also going deaf but won't admit that, either. We made her go through a full battery of tests to make sure she isn't developing dementia, which runs in her family. All the doctors agreed that aside from her vision, she's in excellent health.
We have done everything we can to make her comfortable, from buying her a reading machine to setting her up with transit passes and showing her how to get around. We drive her wherever she needs to go.
But she just sits up in her apartment, watching TV and drinking too much because she's bored. She lashes out at us, her friends, total strangers and even her other family members (who are useless and dumped her on us) on a regular basis and just says the ugliest, meanest things you can imagine. Then she gets all weepy and apologizes. I'm over it. Even her own son says he won't be terribly upset when she passes away.
I recently found a wonderful independent senior apartment complex about 10 miles away. Because of all the activities, transportation and recreational facilities I think she's be much happier there, and I KNOW we would be. We could swing it financially by renting out her granny flat.
How would you go about convincing her this is the best for all concerned? She's still independent enough to take full advantage of a place like that and I really think it would improve her outlook 100% while giving us a much-needed break from her.