My wife, an only child, died in May after a terrible 2 year battle with breast cancer. Her 89 year old mother that lived across the street from us, moved in when my wife was initially diagnosed so that it would be easier for me to care for both, cook meals, etc.

Now my wife is gone, my sons are 2000 miles away and have their own lives, and I am burdened taking care of her.

She barely hears, barely see's, and barely understands when I talk to her so she rarely talks to me.

I am relatively young (63) and feel I want to go live MY life but I have this tether around my neck that only allows me to leave her for 2 hours at a time.

I can't imagine my life if this is how I have to live it for the foreseeable future. I know I need counseling but hate the thought of it.

Any thoughts?

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Hard Place To Be
by: Anonymous

Wow, you are in a tough place. I am so sorry about your wife. Condolences extended sir.

I also know it is hard to be a caregiver 24/7. I understand your wife was an only child but are there any family members on your MIL side?

If not, then you need to look into a in home health nurse to help (does she have Medicaid)? Or possibly talking to her Dr. about placing her in an assisted living home.

I am sure you feel all kinds of emotions. Please pray first. Go to a Pastor that you trust (your choice of denomination) because they often counsel and have ties to the community for resources that can help you.

And also you can call and ask for Hospice to come and evaluate your MIL and they may be able to steer you in the right direction. My heart goes out to you both.

Put her in a community if you can afford it
by: Anonymous

My mother is now in a memory care community, very nice, $4500 /month.

I see all the elders there, placed there by families that do not want or can't take care of them at home.

I hope you can find away to afford it.

All the best

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