Boundaries, and solutions instead of kvetching
by Crazy Issues NO more
Why don't caregivers treat themselves better? Why don't they set boundaries and use more resources?
Allowing yourself to be a doormat for your family is not right and doesn't help anyone in the end. I think the energy spent in resentment and anger should give way to constructive solutions. Why aren't there more caregivers in this forum making helpful suggestions?
I spent three years being angry, helpless, and emotionally toxic.
Result: worse time with my elder and my health went south.
I read Coping With Your Difficult Elder Parent, started seeing a psychotherapist, and decided to change my own behavior. Duh, whad'dya know? Yes, my reality changed enough that I could cope with it. Why did I spend so much energy just complaining?
Don't make that mistake. Be kind to yourself and find compassion with the difficult people. Find resources. They ARE out there.
Have faith and don't allow yourself to sink into a very damaging rut. You needn't do that.
Let's hear from others who have conquered some of that anger, and have found ways to be firm without being nasty mean.
Sure I slip from time to time but I know how to fix my own attitude and change my way of saying things. Still a long challenge. I know I will gain in wisdom from this. That ain't so bad, is it? smile.
What have you learned improving communication? in making your own space somewhere? in finding faith and support? in letting go?
best wishes for a happy and peaceful life