Blessed but Oh soo Stressed!!!

by piggie40
(Rainy Georgia)

Hi! I just stumbled upon this site & being that I'm once again experiencing turbulence in the unsteady navigation of care giving to my elderly, terminally ill mom I want to share!


First and foremost, I Love my mom dearly! All that she has been to & for me, is what propelled me to leap before looking into this realm of becoming her sole caregiver.

I must say, that if I knew half of what I'm currently experiencing & learning now-I wouldn't have dived headfirst until all resources & options we're entertained!

My mom has Alzheimer's, congestive heart failure & a non operable brain tumor not to mention chronic arthritis, diabetes & a whole other list of underlying conditions!

Now, you have me, a 40 year old female with relapsing-remitting MS, seizure sufferer, arthritis & a lot of little underlying illnesses!

I am a wife, mother of 3-two of which are 12 & 13 and at home, oldest is an adult & on his own. I am a stay at home disabled entrepreneur.

I ventured into this care giving role for my mom, to help ease the burden that was placed upon my eldest sibling that happens to be the P.O.A. & she was residing within the same state as my mom.

I won't say that I was lied to about my mom's needs but, I will say that the info that was given to me was Truly Misleading! I was basically lead to believe that my mom just needed to be monitored as she couldn't resume regular functions & actions of a person that lives alone & needed assistance with a few things!

I flew my mom to come stay with me full time and live with me & my family so she wouldn't be alone & could get looked after. My mom, I had learned a week after being in my home needs & requires Full Time Nursing!

There is not one thing that she was able to do for herself! As the weeks/months have gone by with her in my care, the little she Was able to do(walk-with cane,stand, toileting, etc.) has gone in the wind Completely!

I have another sibling, that lives 45 minutes from me & vowed to be a "help & support system" in aiding in the care of mom( weekends,breaks, etc.)and has been more of a problem than ever on Everything!

Does not come to relieve me of duties when agreed upon, only when it suits her! Constantly has negative comments & mannerisms, Always can Tell what I Should or Shouldn't be doing in My Home for our mother, etc.!

It's draining enough, doing & being All that I am & dealing(or Not)with my Own health issues & setbacks makes me not Like the very same people that I was brought up with & have loved unconditionally since My origins!

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Stressed Blessings
by: Anonymous

My 93 year old mother lives with me because the nurses and therapists all lied about how easy and fast her recovery would be that would've enabled her to return to her own house. Didn't happen. She's been here 2 years now.

I understand what hospitals and doctors endure because of Obama Care changes, especially regarding Medicare, but it's pretty sad when these medical professionals shove a person off to the first taker when they are about to lose their payments for that person from the feds. We are at their mercy.

I've learned a whole lot and the singular thing I tell others is to research every detail before jumping into this situation, because it interferes so severely with your ability to live your own life. I'm 66.

At this point, due to the excellent care our mother receives from myself and 3 siblings, she's become healthier than all of us.

Simultaneously, our health is beginning to go downhill just when we thought we'd be able to start enjoying OUR retirement. I don't think we're going to get one unless it comes in the form of assisted living for ourselves.

If I sound cynical it's because I AM bitter. I have no problem helping my family members in their time of need, but I've never said I'd do it forever. Somehow I am.

So take it from everybody else on this forum and DON'T fall into the same trap.

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