I am so glad I read this site because everything I feel is written here. I have been a caregiver for my mother-n-law for the past 11 years. Recently her health has declined.
My husband and his siblings refuse to put her in a nursing home. She is bed ridden, in diapers, and cannot feed herself. My husband and his siblings are fine when there is a crisis. They show up and make decisions about her care, then leave and dump all the responsibility on me.
They say they are going to help, but think nothing of not showing up. We have no children because of this situation. I don't want to do this anymore. At this time my mother-in-law is in the hospital. The hospital has told them that their mother needs to be in a nursing home but they refuse.
I am not involved in the discussions with the social worker. I have thought of going behind their backs and talking to the social worker and telling her how I feel. This situation makes me feel like I am a terrible person. It has taken a toll on my marriage. I feel like 11 years ago someone pushed a pause button on my life.
I ran into an old friend and treated her like it was just yesterday that we spoke (it had been 10 years). She asked what had happened to me, then told me all the rumors that she had heard (I got divorced and moved, I died, etc.). I have no life anymore. My friends all have children and have gone on with their lives. I am stuck on pause.