I am so glad I read this site because everything I feel is written here. I have been a caregiver for my mother-n-law for the past 11 years. Recently her health has declined.

My husband and his siblings refuse to put her in a nursing home. She is bed ridden, in diapers, and cannot feed herself. My husband and his siblings are fine when there is a crisis. They show up and make decisions about her care, then leave and dump all the responsibility on me.

They say they are going to help, but think nothing of not showing up. We have no children because of this situation. I don't want to do this anymore. At this time my mother-in-law is in the hospital. The hospital has told them that their mother needs to be in a nursing home but they refuse.

I am not involved in the discussions with the social worker. I have thought of going behind their backs and talking to the social worker and telling her how I feel. This situation makes me feel like I am a terrible person. It has taken a toll on my marriage. I feel like 11 years ago someone pushed a pause button on my life.

I ran into an old friend and treated her like it was just yesterday that we spoke (it had been 10 years). She asked what had happened to me, then told me all the rumors that she had heard (I got divorced and moved, I died, etc.). I have no life anymore. My friends all have children and have gone on with their lives. I am stuck on pause.

Comments for Becky

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Get out from Under
by: Anonymous

Get a divorce. You don't have a life because nobody in that family gives a damn about you. They are using you, and badly. What about YOU? Do you have a job? How old are you? You sound like you are pretty young because you talk about having children. Do you have a family? Parents, brothers, sisters, friends??? What do they have to say about your situation? Do you ever see anyone outside of this "family" of users?

These people are treating you like a slave. This isn't even your mother. They aren't taking care of their own mother. Of course they won't put her in a home. That would cost money. They have you and you are free!!! What is your worth?
Get help.
Get a life.
Get a job.
Get a divorce.
Get out.
Get a life.
You have probably forgotten who you are, who you were, what you wanted out of life. You deserve more and better. You are a good, decent and beautiful person.

I Understand all to Well!!!
by: Anonymous

The twist for mine though is that it is my Mom and it is my sisters who are the ones who come.

They have all kinds of excuses as to why they can't help which ranges from I don't have the money for gas or I don't feel good or their 22 year old child needs them to go to the doctor with them or I have plans, and when they do come it is for a VISIT and are not willing to do anything for Mom unless I say She will take you to the bathroom or she will get you something to eat and after a few minutes they have to go.

It makes me so angry but if I say anything then they get made at me for complaining and call their VISITS in by phone. Unbelievable!!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Ugh!!

    Dec 28, 20 12:21 PM

    So I lost my mom 18 months ago. After her passing I would come to my parents house to clean and cook a couple of times a week for my dad. He still gets

    Read More

  2. 16yrs of Elderly care with NO HELP

    Dec 28, 20 12:18 PM

    I came back home in 2004 to help my dad as he had cancer, he eventually passed away few years later. Well here I am am in 2020 still at home taking care

    Read More

  3. I'm fed up

    Jul 22, 20 01:11 PM

    Hi I'm 20 years old and i live with my mother and sister. My sister is 18 and she works at our local grocery store and is usually doing her own thing.

    Read More