At Wits End!!!

by Emily
(Iowa)

I am the main caregiver for my very difficult 90 year old mother. I do have hired, care givers that come to her home for a few hours each day....but other than that it is just me.


I have a very wealthy brother and sister (that live in the same general area as my mother) that do not do a thing. They live their fancy lives and go on their fancy trips and just tell me "you are a trooper for helping mom". When I ask for help from one of them they just say "sorry, mom can not get in or out of my BMW or sorry I am leaving tomorrow for some exotic trip".

Meanwhile, I work a (more than) full time job, have a husband and kids that resent me for being so available to my mother and do not have 1/10th the income they have and I am the one who has to do everything...Caring for my elderly parent (who is super critical of everything I do) has me resentful of my siblings.

The only reason I even speak to my siblings is to hope they will visit or call our mother every few weeks....once my mother dies my relationship with them will go too and it will be a relief on all accounts.

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I am Sorry
by: Anonymous

I am sorry that you are going through this major challenge. I hope that one day your siblings will say thank you. In the meantime, you may have to stop being a trooper and make your boundaries more clear. There are other choices you could make, although it is hard to see those in the day to day....

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