At a Loss

I have moved to my mothers house. We are both on social security, she gets more than me. One reason was to help her out.


I pay for my share of utilities and food. I take care of myself, pay for my own phone, TV, internet and I do housework and yard work. I take my mom to appointments, shopping and whatever. Now she wants me to pay her to live here. She does not like the way I look, talk or act.

Is she being unreasonable in asking for money from me? Mom is a very generous person to all but family and I feel resentful that she would ask me for money and then give it away to others. This is sad.

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What do you truly want?
by: Anonymous

I have to be honest. So often I read about people who move in with their parents to help them out and I do believe that it's part of the reason. But if you are totally honest with yourself, I think you will admit that you also believed that it would help you financially, too. There is nothing wrong with that.

Theoretically, you probably thought that your labor in helping take your mother to appointments, make sure she is okay, helping around the house would more than offset living expenses. In truth, if she were paying someone to do those things, it would cost her or the family quite a bit. But I don't know how much help your mother needed or needs now. Did you move in with her because you needed financial support and couldn't afford to live on your own?

These conditions tend to change the dynamics of family relationships, and if your mother senses that you need to be there more than she needs for you to be there, then it's a different story.

Here is my question, could you afford to live on your own? Would you like to be independent and have your own life without having to feel obligated to anyone? Think about what would make you happy and proud of yourself. It's your life.

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