Assisted Living: A New Perspective
I believe I have found my light at the end of the tunnel. It hasn't quite happened yet, but I'm hopeful. At the risk of jinxing it all, I'm going to share it with you, so that maybe you can find a light in your tunnel too.
As the Baby Boomer generation, we sail uncharted waters, in having an unprecedented amount of caregiving responsibility for our aging parents.
Some of our situations share common threads, but most are unique unto themselves. We have to think outside the box, to figure out solutions that work for everyone involved. To some degree, there is going to be compromise. But if we can come to a place where we don't feel guilty, which seems to be our nemesis, I think we've accomplished a lot.
I moved in with mom two years ago in order for her to remain in her home. This is her ultimate desire for the rest of her life. It's working out great for her, not so great for me. In enabling her to have a home, I have lost my life. I need a home of my own too.
Mom lives in an expensive area and I don't make a lot of money. I've decided to go into "Assisted Living". The new definition of that term is... mom can assist me in living. I'm going to move into a rental nearby. I will have a home of my own and so will mom.
She has a retirement fund I will never achieve. She can help me financially and I will help her in every other way. This will make us both happy.
Having been independent all my life, at first it didn't sit well with me to take money from mom. And society surely frowns upon grown children living off their parents. But as the time goes by, I realize that I have to make a change.
I am here so that she doesn't have to go into Assisted Living. If I wasn't here, she would either pay for someone to come into the home or she would be paying a facility somewhere. There is no reason why this can't be a win-win situation.
This may only be a temporary solution. As we well know, our situations change on a daily basis. But if I can get some relief at this stage of the game, I'm going to take the chance. And when we come to the next hurdle, I'll come up with a new game plan.