Ashamed of not Doing More for Mom

by Melanie
(Northeast US)

I regret every day that I don't treat her better. But I'm so afraid of her judgmental remarks & criticisms, that I am always tense around her. It's how I felt even as a child, when her sudden rages terrified me. It feels the same today, like a panic comes over me. (Even though she can't chase me & choke me like before, it still scares me when she is angry). It is what it is.

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your doin the best you can
by: dawn infinity

Remember your doing the best you can do , i feel the same way too towards my elderly. mom , but i know too i can only do so much , &you can only do so much too , we can't let our fears of thinking that we are not doin less or need to do more we can do what we can do , &plus we need to take care of our minds spirit &heath. &if we hav small kids & spouse. We are not seraphim angels yet , until god takes us. hugs dawn

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Don't feel guilty
by: Anonymous

She's obviously a narcissist, she won't change, she's in the business of making you feel guilty to control you. For your own sanity you should do less not more.

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Many thanks
by: Anonymous

You are good. to say kind things is very healing work..👍thanx

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Ashamed of not Doing More for Mom
by: Anonymous

I can certainly understand why you feel the way you do, considering your past experiences.

I'm sure you're doing the best you can for her, much more than many people are doing, or not doing. You are there for her, you haven't abandoned her and that says something.

Don't be so hard on yourself. This is one of the hardest jobs there is to do.

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