As Elderly Caregivers What a Life We Live!

by Karen K

Like many people who write on this forum, I too have become involved with the care of my father. It had been amazing to look back and think of how slow but steady the involvement has become. I kind of reminds me of the movie Benjamin Button, where the man is born old and gets younger. Few seem to notice until dramatic changes are seen.

My/our journey started with several simple requests, to mow the yard because “I am down in my back today”, to “can you run me to the doctor’s appointment this week”, to now doing almost everything from house maintenance to running to the store to cleaning messes, to marketing to cooking and cleaning.

The time it takes for this has been getting more and more, almost to the point (I am sure it will happen soon) that my personal needs will take a back seat to this.

I can already see that some of the day to day issues that I do at my home are now being put off as I am exhausted at the end of the day. Getting home at a decent hour is a long distant memory.

Clean the house on Saturdays? May be the next week. Grocery shopping? Will go by and pick something up for dinner but not the week of food I usually plan for. Do some reading? Are you kidding? That was one of the first things to go.

I am certain this will end, sadly, but the frustrating thing is that I feel as if there is “no win” here……nothing is resolved, nothing is cured, nothing is relieved, just the ever constant “time battle” and the resolve that I am a caregiver at the exclusion of my life’s goals or wants and needs.

No time off, no vacations, can’t leave the city, have to check in, have to fulfill requests.
Wow, what a life we live! Even though it won’t be for long I suspect, it still upsets the balance of life for that time in a big way.

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