by Annoyed

I have been the caregiver for my father and his wife(who is not my biological mother). I also work full time, they refuse to move close to the family and refuse to have any assistance from a home health aide.

I attempt to visit two-three times per week and I dread it. They ask about my next day off only to have their errands ran.

My fathers wife is passive aggressive and attempts to make my visits longer by thinking up things that need to be done when I am about to leave.

They don't understand that I have a life and I don't mind helping them but I feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and that I am supposed to devote my entire life to caring for them.

I dread when I have to visit and it shouldn't be that way. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

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by: Anonymous

Do you have any siblings that can take turns? I am a child of 4 kids, but I am the only one caring for our Mother in my home. She simply cannot take care of herself.

I know it is hard to sacrifice your time as you work full time, so I would suggest getting your other family members involved (if they will) and if not, talk to an in home health agency to ask if they can come and talk to your parents about their services.

They may decide to sign up for it after meeting with someone. If is hard when our parents get older and need help. It is something we must deal with.

I guess our turn will come around someday as being the ones in need - if we live long enough. I hope you are able to find others wiling to pitch in. It should not fall on you alone.

Hire someone
by: Anonymous

Don't ask for permission in hiring outside help, just DO IT and they will get used to it. They have to learn that you can only do so much and that you still have your own life to tend to.

I know nobody WANTS to ask for help, especially from strangers, but some times we don't have a choice. Your parents do have a choice but they won't make it, so make it for them and everybody will adapt.

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