Angry, Bitter, Stressed out Mess!

by Anonymous

I am taking care of my husband’s grandparents, who "raised" (I use this term loosely) him. They have lived in my home for 51/2 years now. They are 91 and two of the the most miserable, complaining, unthankful, backstabbing, busybodies I have ever known or ever will come across in my lifetime.

I have spent the last five and half years taking them to all of their appointments, paying their bills, cleaning for them and on and on.

All I have gotten from them in return is absolutely no privacy, constant complaining, constant talking badly behind my back and on and on. I have become a bitter, angry, stressed out guilty mess! There are many facets to my bitter and angry feelings.

They have 4 children (one is my husband)and two of them live within 2 miles and the other is about 10 miles away. They all walk around doing exactly what they like when they please while I am stuck taking care of their miserable parents. I find this to be so wrong and selfish!

My question to them will be..... Are you going to move my parents into your home and take care of them if they get to be this age? Because this is exactly what I did and am doing for you!

We spent 85k to build an apartment on our home so they had a decent place to live and the other children did not help in any way! On top of that these two elders have never been thankful for this free home they have been given, they can only complain about why we didn’t put a wrap around deck on or this or that!

I hate the person I have become because of this situation. I hate feeling guilty for those feelings as well. I do not wish for them to die, I just need to be away from them for a long period of time. I know I have let this go too long and too far. I have always said if you don’t like your life change it.

So, that’s the plan. I plan to have a family meeting and to frankly tell everyone that I am burnt out and that these two miserable human beings are their parents and we all have to find a solution because I won’t continue to be stressed out the way that I have been for about a year now.

As it is I have already withdrawn from them and I am finding any excuse to leave the house just to get away from them. I feel bitter that I have a brand new grandson that I want to spend time with and the only thing I can seem to get done is taking them to their appointments and doing for them. Ok,ok enough complaining.

Now to find the right words to my husband and call a family meeting.

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go for it
by: Anonymous

You're right, you can only be taken advantage of if you allow it and you certainly are having it happen and it's time to stop it.

It's one thing if other family is far away, but from what you're describing, they can pull their share. They won't though because you're doing it.

The anger you feel roars in your words (I have it too, so I understand) and anger is the quickest destroyer to health and marriages.

Everything you've said is correct about the situation. Is there any way people can take quarters of the year? There's enough of them. Three months for each is do-able. Sure it would be a hassle to move the old folks around, but you do what you have to do.

I hope your husband understands. After five years woman, you have paid your dues and don't feel a bit bad about what you are asking!

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