Anger to Everyone Especially My Self!

by Sureenun
(Roied,Thailand)

Hello, I've used to write here once and now twice. All of my grand mother activities and everything about her are my responsibility and I mean that. Everyday when I wake up in the

morning, she comes first. Take some pills, eating,entertaining,napping etc.(sometimes I thought that I'm her mother or what!! No...But almost now!).

To do this as a caregiver is hardest more than I thought. I've to not just understand clearly about her mental and physical stage but mine too and this brings me to confusing and furiously stress so easy....This is the big reason that why I'm angry my self, because it's so confusing...

Do I have to act myself as an elderly to understand her feeling?... or just be myself...It's too much difference even though we living in the same earth!! I'm just 25 and she's 85 or I should ignore about the age and do everything plainly? Every second I try to find positive to think positive about being caregiver and they are rare. There just only one thing I found, the truth about human being.

There is nothing that lasts forever, I can see my self in her eyes....some day I'll become her, all physical changes and Alzheimer's. Now her sight and hearing are bad, eating just a few spoon per meals. I've to find more information to right understanding and treat to her as best as I can, hope that some day when it's my turn to get old, there will be someone to take care of me.

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