Am I in the Twilight Zone?
I'm a caregiver for my elderly mom 85 years old now for the last 7 years. My mom had broken her hip due to my Bipolar sister pounding on her window in the middle of the night.
Now, I have been here ever since and what I don't understand is "didn't we all get raised by the same parents"? Taught the same thing by our parents? Reason why I say this?
Because my siblings seem to have different views opinions morals values, etc., etc., etc. than I do. I am not trying to be a judgmental person but ...Where are they????
Not only are they not there whatsoever for me but they are rarely ever there for my 85 year old mom whom is a great great great grandmother, ex den mother of boy scouts, and held giant birthday parties with four layer cakes all their lives.
And in her book (my moms) they can do no wrong.
No wonder they are never here. They have comments like that I get "free rent" and when they go out of town to Europe they might say "if she dies while I am gone... put her on ice or just have the funeral without me.. " and has suggested that we "lie" to my mom about burying her.. because they want to cremate and mom wants to be buried. As it is against her beliefs.
The question I really have lately is why do they keep bringing bottles of Bourbon every time they come? Are they trying to get me drunk or my mom? Even though she is on blood thinners!
My tennis shoes are so old they are falling off my feet and when I asked for a new pair from these siblings the one remarked "what happened to the pair I got you last year?"
What I decided was that I love my mom so much that I wanted her to be able to stay at home and never experience a nursing home. But, I didn't know it was going to ruin my life.
I have advice for any caregivers starting out with their elderly parent. Get a family meeting immediately and make sure that everyone is all going to be pitching in and its well understood that you are a single human being that has as much right to be alive as they do. Otherwise your going to get these comments..."well they have a job" or "I have to clean my pool today"
"I have 2 house payments" "I had to sell my boat".
Also you will become discredited by these siblings .. and very much unappreciated by the entire family and most likely you won't hear from any nephews, nieces, no one from their side of the family at all because they are being told lies.
I can't imagine how horrible the funeral will be for me not just to lose my mom, but to have all these siblings and their off springs looking at me like???? (whatever it is that they have used to slander me) just to make themselves look like they have indeed been helping and caring. To hide every and all good that I have done.
Hopefully, you won't have a mother that won't have your back and that won't side with the devil even turning your own sister against you(which is all you had in the whole world before).
What I close this with is that I only have to believe that God is watching and that he will protect me and my mom and my dog Nilly from any further broken heart because Love is more powerful than hate and God is Love.