Advice for Handling Older Arrogant Brother

I need advice on how to get along with my hateful brother. I am the youngest(brother is 4 years

older). My brother has never had a job. My Dad has a cattle farm & he pays my brother to take
care of it.

I know farming is a hard job, but my parents have not only paid my brother a salary.
They have bought land...WITH him, but I know
they've paid most of it.

My brother has always been self employed, punching his own time clock so he never learned how to get along with anybody. He lives a mile away from my Dad, so it is convenient for brother to take care of Dad.

I live 2 hours away & I am the primary care giver for my 21 year old Mentally Challenged/ Autistic/Epileptic son. I worked 31 yr s as an Elementary Ed Teacher.

Now I am retired, but have to care for my child. So my brother takes care of my Dad, but does not live with Dad.

My son & I try to go visit Dad every couple of weeks. I buy groceries & cook a lot while also bringing homemade food from my freezer. I stay 2 days & 1 night, & stay busy cleaning dirty house
& cook.

My brother brings my Dad his mess 2x a day, but he does not clean up or cook for Dad.

Recently my health has become bad. I am having neck surgery soon for degenerative Disc disease & unstable bones in my neck, so I am suppose to take it easy.

Any fall or car wreck...Could easily shift my neck & pinch or cut my spinal cord. I have to be VERY CAREFUL, so I will be unable to clean Dad's house...I plan to cook & take food. My brother does not want me to come because my visit might " disrupt Dad's schedule.

But my brother will not clean up Dad's house and he WILL NOT hire anybody to help.

I have been asking my brother to hire someone, but he never does so I end up doing the housework. But for now before and after my surgery, I will not be able to help Dad.

How can I get my brother to allow me to give Dad his medications...During my visit to give my brother a Break, but my brother will not allow it.

He does not think I have enough sense to give medications. Last year he accused me of trying to POISON DAD!

Help, how can I get along with my brother?

Alabama sister,

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My humble opinion
by: Anonymous

Can you ask your father if he wants to be ONLY taken care of by your brother, maybe he is OK with the way it is.

Can you get your father to put his wishes in writing?

You really can't do much more anyway with your situation. Maybe be glad your brother is there nearby and checks on him.

There is no perfect situation, even in a full time senior retirement home.

Good luck

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