A Mother can Take Care of 100 Children, but 100 Children Can't take Care of one Mother!

by Helpless
(Nutley, NJ)

My mother moved into my home In January 2011. When seeing her changing condition I felt she can no longer take care of herself. Although my brother lived with mom, he basically didn't do anything for her, even though he thought he did it all.

I told him that if he wasn't able to come home after a days work and make home his final resting place then staying with mom was not able to continue. This started a family war!

I took my mother in and from that point it has been all on me. My brother does absolutely NOTHING but complain about his problems in his life and why he can't even make a phone call to his mother. My sister will take her to 2 of her doctors appointments even though she has about 6 that she sees often. And as far as taking my mother for the day or night? Well, she doesn't want to inconvenience her daughters.

I work a full time job, I have 3 children (21, 19 and 11), and my 11 year old is actively playing multiple sports so my schedule gets crazy. But, I seem to manage it all. My life consists of work, coming home, cleaning, cooking, and caring for everyone else. I don't have time to do anything and when I do have a minute with nothing to do, I go to bed with exhaustion!

I find myself in bed by 6PM most of the time and my day begins again the next day. When I tell my siblings how I have no life, they say well, "what life do they have"? It's not worth even talking to them anymore...

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Time to get help
by: Christine

It is really time for you to take care of yourself. While "Mom" may not like having someone else caring for her, please try to convince her that your time out of the home will result in you taking better care of her.

I fought the "no outside caregivers" battle for so long, but when I put my foot down I began again to think of myself. In the end, that's who you have to rely on. Best wishes.

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