A Friend is Making me Feel Guilty.
I don't know if this is the right place for me, as my problem is an elderly friend rather than a parent. (I was sole carer for my parents till they passed away, however.) Anyway, my friend is 70 and, like me, she has no family at all.
Recently she had a fall and is very bruised and shaken by it. She also has several other health problems (diabetes, diverticulitis, macular degeneration and angina). I want to help her as much as I am able to.
The problem is that I live several miles away and am not working for reasons of health, so I have little money for bus fares. I can afford to visit her once a fortnight (which I am doing) and to take some shopping to her then and help out generally. I also phone several times a week.
Someone else also gets some shopping for her. However, she is constantly asking me to visit more often and I am feeling that what I am doing is not enough. She hasn't had anyone else to visit her, despite the fact she belongs to a church. She keeps saying that no one bothers to go and see her, which makes me feel guilty and worthless. She is able to get out and about locally, so isn't completely trapped indoors.
I am at a stage in my life when I am trying to widen my social network and I don't want to give up the few activities I do socially, even though I could then afford to visit her every week if I did give them up. If she lived within walking distance, I would go there several times a week.
Given her age and her other health problems, I feel that this is the start of her needing more support generally and I am terrified of having to give up my life.