A Different Kind of Help

I am a registered nurse and the oldest of 4 siblings. They each still have full time jobs, but I am mostly retired. (I work only about 8 hours a week.)


Therefore, when Mom and Dad who are both in their mid-80's began needing help, it was assumed that I would be the caregiver. Dad is very cooperative, although he has early dementia and many physical ailments, including extremely poor vision. Mom is a different story.

She has always been very critical of others and very bossy, but now those traits have become magnified. I know she suffers from chronic pain associated with advanced osteoporosis, but she refuses to see a specialist. I suspect she has other serious health issues of her own as well- dementia? depression and anger issues?

I simply don't know, but she refuses all attempts by me to get help for her and has become verbally abusive to both my father and myself. I've finally had to admit to myself that I've done all I can do for her personally. I know she needs help, but I'm clearly not the one who can provide it successfully.

I'm now in the process of trying to find outside help through community social service agencies but having little success. My mother is the typical abusive spouse who behaves like a model wife when others are around. No one believes how hateful and abusive she is behind closed doors.

Currently I'm trying to get adult protective services involved. We'll see if that works. In the meantime, I've finally told my siblings what I'm doing, but they simply don't understand. They think I just don't care about Mom. I'm working on reminding myself each day that this is the best I can do under the circumstances. I tell myself that it's just a different kind of help.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Conundrum

    May 21, 19 03:13 PM

    How is it that a 98 year old dying person is able to suck out every bit of life energy from me. I am 30 years younger. I completely and successfully manage

    Read More

  2. Lost

    May 17, 19 01:54 PM

    Brought my 81 year old mother into my new downsized home. She can still dress, go to the restroom by herself, cognitive issues related to Parkinson dementia

    Read More

  3. Going Bonkers in Georgia

    May 17, 19 01:52 PM

    I have to start off with saying I have a big old dog named Bonkers! But I am borrowing his name for this title only! How am I coping...? I don't really

    Read More