89 Year Old Mother's Money Issues

by D Conrad
(PA)

My mom is 89 years young, she has been keeping company with a man for 3 years. During this time, she has gone downhill, and isn't really able to make good money decisions.


His daughter is with a church organization and asks for monetary donations. It is our understanding that both her and her husband are paid a salary.

Mom has 3 other children, and they don't ask anything from her. We feel this man is encouraging Mom to help his daughter. I would like some ideas on how to deal with this situation.

We feel Mom sends this to make him happy.

As I am the Power Of Attorney I feel responsible for helping her make the right decisions, but I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her mad.

She can't keep her checkbook in order and feels she has so much money. I am scared that the money won't last to keep her comfortable the rest of her life.

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Jul 05, 2015
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What authority does the POA give you?
by: Marsha

I can relate to your issue. Do you have Durable Power of Attorney or POA over her finances? Is your mother signing these charity checks?

In your mother's past, has she been a person who has given to charities, churches, etc., or is this something new since the man came into her life?

Do you know approximately what her contributions are? Reasonable or excessive? Do you have access to her bank account(s) so that you can check her statements?

First thing to do is re-check your POA copy to be sure exactly what you can or cannot do on your mother's behalf. If you can act on her behalf without her, provide the POA copy to the banks and institutions that you would like access to her accounts.

If your access is limited, your mom is still of sound mind (even if you don't think so) this is where it can get sticky.

It's very difficult when our parents get up there in age. There are so many shady people who prey on the elderly, especially if they are affluent. Keep a watchful eye on your mother's affairs. Begin with what authority you have.

Jul 01, 2015
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I agree
by: Anonymous

I agree with "Talk to Her". You really have no alternative.

Jun 30, 2015
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Talk to Her
by: Anonymous

You are the Power Of Attorney and if you think someone is taking advantage of her say so in a nice way. Tell her your concerned about her giving her money away because you fear she might not have enough left to live on.

If she isn't understanding these is no choice for you but to get her found incompetent and there by taking over her estate and making the choices for her.

Sorry to give you such bad news.

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