49 Year Old son who has a Mental Illness who is Living 24/7 with His 87 Year Old Mother
(Hamilton, Ontario, Canada)
My name is John. I am 49, with mental and physical illness that is living in close corners to my 87 year old elderly mother. I am going to tell you that it seems the opposite with me. My elderly mother does about everything, shop, bills, sometimes talks on my behalf. I am very depressed, because I never thought it could happen but mom is looking after me.
I try my best to please her, but she has changed a lot since my father, or her husband died in 2009. She is forever putting me on guilt trips, I try to communicate with her but it's totally useless. I finder her even telling family and friends that she is so tired, and frustrated looking after me.
She has become a calculating demon, who is never satisfied for anything I try to help her with.
We have no car, so she needs people to take her grocery shopping on a regular basis. I have never gone with her because of my physical, and mental illness. But to her friends she has left she makes a sob story about herself, now all friends are against me, and are vilifying me to an extent.
I am on a fixed monthly income, and sometimes I spend way to much money, to give her a lot of money when my cheque comes in. But very often she will give me money, or buy me under wear, clothes, my favourite food.
Then a week down the line she bitches at me for having no money, o she is really not teaching me a sense of responsibility. But the of ten times I am mentally or physically sick, she won't tell family and friends, much about my sickness, so a lot I know are saying I am a spoiled brat.
Also when I am in my room, doing mans things, she will hover around
my closed door, talking very low to herself, then often times she will say, what I am doing, is against God's wishes, then I should pray for his forgiveness. Yes we are catholic.
She goes to church by herself, or with a close friend. Long story short, I think she is messing with my mind. She will often feel more sorry for other people's illnesses or problems, and disregard my own problems.
She is sort of acting like a poor old innocent person who can do no wrong to her friends, or family, but when we are alone in the house, she will again act out, somewhat against me. she has made me cry often times.
Sometimes she is so mean to me that I yell and swear at her, and people are hearing me the most, because I have a loud voice. And yes I have slapped her face on 2 occasions out of sheer frustration, which I feel so awful about.
Maybe she has lost her love for me. She hires works my age to do work I would be doing if I were well, but unfortunately, I am not. I meant to say she hires people my age to help her with things that I would of been doing if I were well.
All the workers look down upon me, as a lazy bum, but that is certainly not the truth of it. She knows people are going to believe her the most because of her gender, age, and kindness to others, but sometimes not to me.
Some people are slowly starting to figure out the real truth, but it will take a long time in the future before I can really have my say to them to tell them the real story behind the scenes.
I am ashamed to say it, but I don't even trust my own mother for the last few years.