41yr Old Daughter/Care-Provider-Glad to find This Site!
by Vanessa M.R
(San Diego County, CA USA)
I am 41yrs OLD, I emphasize the "old" because caring for/about my mother has made my life a ball of stress and I am feeling nearly suicidal.
My mother rarely worked during her younger "retirement earning" years. When she did work (my 3-brothers and I were raised by AFDC/Welfare the majority of our childhood), she was frequently late/absent/unproductive and never kept any job longer than a year or so.
Now, at the age of 62, she has NO retirement income and does not qualify for Social Security either. Her FULL living expenses are covered by myself 75% and my younger brother 25%. My Mom lives with me, I pay all expenses...yet she has NO respect/care/concern for my wishes.
I have to BEG for basics(respect/safety/privacy) and feel I am at the end of my rope with her. While my mother does not have any serious physical issues, I feel she does have undiagnosed MENTAL issues (paranoid personality disorder, A.D.D and some form of depression)which she refuses to address or seek treatment for.
I have recently decided, after over 20yrs of us living together, to force my mother out of my home and into a reduced rent apt where she can do/live as she pleases. This decision is very hard on me, but I now KNOW that she has no intention of ever showing me basic respect OR helping me to get ahead.
Is there anyone out there who knows of resources I can use or apply for to get her out on her own with an income? We live in Southern California.