35 years is too much

by Sue
(Brooksville Ky)

I have been responsible for my mother since she has been 59. She will be 95 this December. During those years my brother and husband have both passed away. She is a very difficult person to deal with and loves to start trouble in the family.

When is enough enough?
I am 67, retired, and would love to travel, but am starting to feel resentful of the fact that her care goes on forever. Any suggestions?

Comments for 35 years is too much

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Stuck
by: Anonymous

Unless you can put your mom in another living arrangement, you’re stuck until she dies. You’ve put in a long haul. Ive been in for 8 years. Mom turns 99 in November. There is no end until their life ends. Its as simple and as unfair as that.

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Respite Care
by: Rick B.

My suggestion is for you to seek respite care. Contact your local state or county office that oversees senior services in your area. Your mother may be able to qualify for financial assistance to pay for in-home care.

of course this most likely will no be 24/7 care, anything less would still be beneficial for you. It does not hurt to inquire about this.

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Enough
by: Anonymous

Your commitment to honor and care for your mom does not mean that you have to be the one to physically provide that care. If she has the finances, check out respite care, home aides, etc.

If she does not, there are lots of state programs that will provide help to those in your situation. Yes, you have done enough. You are not going to stop loving, caring, but you have borne this alone for long enough.

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put her in an assisted living.
by: Anonymous

they are skilled in caring for old people and it will give you the freedom you want. my mom is in one - it's been wonderful.

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