30 Year Old Single Caring for 80 Year Old Father with Alzheimer's and 60 Year Old Mother with Schizophrenia

by Renata
(Trinidad, West Indies.)

It's too much to share here. But my dad has since passed and I miss him fondly. He had Alzheimer's, but he was charming and helped me to care for him. He took care of his parents too so maybe that's why he was so nice. But then he had also asked Jesus to be his Lord and Savior too... God helped him and me together.

I have my mom alone now and she's really burning me out! Every so often I have need to place her away from home because I am the only one she harasses. She has Schizophrenia and there has been no difference between day and night for me for the past 14 months or so.

Actually, there is no one else here for her to harass. She does not knowingly harass me. She just continually asks for something to eat, raids the fridge, and steals anything she decides she wants. For example, if I only have one serving to give at lunch time, I would give it all to her, I won't keep any for myself because I don't want her to think we have no food. So, I make sure she always has enough.

But then she never stops talking about food to herself and to the other "invisible people" in the room, arguing at the top of her lungs day or night.

I am very tired. And in order to cope I keep her locked in her apartment mostly, where she has everything she needs. I have to force her to walk or promise her something nice to eat to get her out for some exercise. Otherwise,
she may leave to go to visit people to collect the food they have for her. Of course there is no one expecting her.

When I give her something nice everyday, she insists that it was sent for her by someone else and that I am not giving her all of it. She is medicated but the doctors don't know what else to do. She's on Stelazine (6/dy)and Amitriptyline (4/dy) with Artane along with her shot every 3 weeks. And she dare not miss a dose of either.

But God helps me to cope. Somehow I know that I can depend on Him to help me and show me what to do for her and myself. She may not have long again to live, and I must learn to be enduring. She will always have me because I am committed to her, but I need to do something for myself right now! But if I can't, I'll be refreshed again somehow.

You see I've been doing this a long time, and if I'm unhappy about something it makes caring for her difficult. If I can do something positive about what's bothering me personally, Mummy or rather the things she does won't bother me so much. So it's in the bag!

I'll talk to God and ask Him for the courage to change the things I can. Oh yeah I know the difference!

I feel so much better now. Thanks to you all for being here and giving me a place to talk. Because unless you are really trying to understand how to "care for others" you really don't care about such things (such detail).


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Update on Mom with Schizophrenia
by: Renata

Update! My mother is stronger now and willing to go for walks every other day or so. She is less a patient and more a person now. She has likes and dislikes you can appreciate - not like before.

Her medication was adjusted upward to 50mg Amytriptaline in the morning and 100mg Amytriptaline at night along with Cogentin (2/dy)and Stelazine (6/dy).

She wakes early, takes a bath, brushes her teeth, reads her prayer book and prays. Every evening - on her own - she repeats the above. This is peace! She is happy and so am I.

Once per week or when ever needed she helps wash dishes. You could she that she enjoys doing various tasks now. We have holy communion every week and thank Jesus for wholeness and for taking our sicknesses in his own body - for by His stripes, we were healed! We could not do it without Jesus. Thank you Jesus, we love you.

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