30 Emotions Every 24 Hours

by Cheryl
(Columbus, OH)

I have not written on this type of site before so bear with me.

I have been caring for my elderly father now for 3 years since mother passed away. We moved dad here that long ago as we could tell or at least suspect that he was declining in health matters and as well the upkeep on his home was too much.

We moved him, put the house up for sale (after a ton of repairs and expense) and moved him into a nice place not far from us. We had heard from friends that they too had done some of this in the past.

Once here, the issues started cropping up a little at a time and are now these issues are so time consuming and seemingly insurmountable that my emotions seem to get the better of me on a daily basis..and run full circle, from frustration, anger, tears, the whole thing....I am so tired that I could take a nap for a year, I think.

Is everyone else on here like me or am I just being difficult?

The issues seemed doable several years ago, but with my own health issues, a job, our own home and now his to take care of...it is getting difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Everything from changing light bulbs to taking out the trash to "shouldn't we (you) get the gardener out here today?" "My cable TV keeps acting up and I want to change carriers, call 2-3 of them and see what kind of deal you can get".

Seems like I have bosses everywhere....husband, work and now Dad....overwhelming to say the least. I really would like to hear from others so I don't think I am the only one and have become too sensitive for this....thank you in advance.

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Your not Alone
by: P from Canada

It's hard hearing constant complaints, all the negative whines they blurt out of their mouths, my only advice is to calmly hang in, save $$, make a B plan, then exit gracefully, show apathy, be assertive, explain you will not go crazy and die for them as they do, your a human, not a damn mule, or crying wall, you wish everyone that dogs you down well, tell them good luck.

Insist you will only visit on a limited basis in future, tell them they hurt your feelings and back, but no hard feelings, good luck good bye.

And I say to your friend Good Luck, only thing that works, walk away and re capture your own life, their is no changing demanding old men , grumpy shits be grumpy shits, I did this for one year and in 30 days AWAY I GO !!! some love lost and no new love gained I got him through his operations and healed and what a shame I am being treated like a schmuck giving him a year of my time money hard work and care all in vain, and often the case I''m afraid

I Feel your Pain
by: Sandi

I will sum up my life since my Mom came to live with us 15 months ago. Tiring, scary, depressing.

I love her, I get sick thinking of putting her in a home but yet I sometimes get so angry and upset that I think she may be better off with strangers that are getting paid to tend to her.

She has dementia, she remembers some stuff. If she doesn't remember she says "well I have dementia". I don't remember. Then I remind her to do stuff and she says "I wasn't born yesterday, I know" or my favorite "who is the Mother and who is the daughter?" We argue. I shouldn't.

I know it is in vain. But I am human. That is a forgotten fact in our house. I AM HUMAN! But...I am trying to do a day at a time. Until I can't do it anymore. There has to be another way. She has some money.

I don't care about the money but she will have to go to a home they will take all the money, then after a short period when the money runs out, she will have to be moved to a county home and I wished I could save her that one move?! But in the mean time I am losing my mind! ???????

You're Not the Only One
by: Anonymous

I don't know when you first posted your entry, but if you've had a chance to scroll through the hundreds of entries, you can now see that you're not the only one.

You are perfectly normal to feel all of those emotions. I think we slowly take on more and more responsibility and over time we begin to crack. What seemed easy in the beginning only gets worse, not better.

Stand back and get some perspective on your situation. Track your time over one week and see where all your energy goes. How much time during the week do you have for yourself? Any time to relax or enjoy something?

Any time to just do nothing? Or do you wake up with a schedule and just jump from one thing to the next until you drop into bed at night. When you see how thin you're being stretched you can understand your feelings and realize something has to change.

I'm accepting that I can't do it all. I need help. Wherever that help comes from, I will take it. If someone offers a ride for my mom, even if it's just a simple ride across town to an appointment, I take the offer. There's relief in having others on board.

As time goes on, I'm going to need more help, and now that I've opened that door, instead of feeling isolated and alone, I feel that I can reach out and find the resources that will make this easier for me.

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